I'm Gay ... O.K.?  by Martin Bennett

   Some have dived head first into the whole gay scene, apparently
without hesitation. Others have been tugged in over a period of time,
and then some are still "holding out." Even the church can't deny that
many within it are having tremendous struggles with homosexuality.
Growing masses of gays are parading down the streets with banners,
pursuing a new found freedom to do what they want. But the real things
so many seek after- friendship, acceptance, and love-elude them,
remaining just outside their reach.

   A man who at one time had given himself over to seeking pleasure
spoke the truth when he said that "Even in laughter the heart may be in
pain, and the end of joy may be grief.

   It's Not Good To Be Alone

   The good memories of our lives usually aren't made of the things we
got or even what we did, but it's who we were with that makes our
memories special to us. Good relationships. Unless we've been deeply
wounded, we want to be friends with others and enjoy the company of
another person who really cares for us. The problem is, whenever you're
in a relationship that can bring good things, hurts and disappointments
can come just as easily. We end up relating to those we feel
comfortable with and accepted by.

   Deep inside of everyone (straights included) there is a yearning for
something meaningful and real in relationships. But, by the admission
of those who have been there, the gay life-style delivers a drop of
pleasure and a gallon of loneliness and pain.

   What Is Homosexuality?

   Before we go any further, we need to define what homosexuality is,
and isn't. It isn't just a strong attraction for those of the same sex.
Someone who is tempted to steal something isn't a thief until he
actually gives in to his desire, and someone who's been hurt by another
may feel like hating that person-but it's when he gives himself over to
this desire that he's stepped over the line. That means giving your
mind over in pursuing lustful thoughts (maybe through pornography), or
giving your body over to pursue these desires. However, just having
some kind of homosexual encounter in your past doesn't necessarily mean
that you're "gay."

   A homosexual is a person who not only has a strong attraction for
the same sex, but has also made the decision to yield to these desires.
The gay mentality or life-style aren't things you just "stumble"
into-you walk into them step by step.

   Where Did It Start?

   Maybe you always felt that you were just "different" - you know, you
didn't quite seem to fit the image of what most people thought was a
"real man" or a "real woman." No, you didn't seem to have much in
common with the deep-voiced hero who always saved the day, and playing
baseball wasn't any fun to you. Or as a girl you just "couldn't relate
to men." Or maybe the first person who ever showed you any attention
and kindness made it easy for you to start thinking that you "must be
gay."

   Maybe you grew up in a place where homosexuality was just a normal
part of life. Maybe you were hurt so badly by a certain person that you
pulled away from them, and others of the same sex, to keep from being
hurt like that again. But in your heart, you know that anyone you
become close to has the ability to hurt you, gay or straight. Maybe you
feel like you were just born the way you now are. However you got to
where you're at, if there's any sense that something's "just not right"
about how things are right now, the most important thing is "Now what?"
Well, let's start at the beginning...

   Why Did God Make Us?

   If you're turned off to God right now, please give Him a chance to
explain Himself. Just as you may be misunderstood sometimes, God has
really been misunderstood. The One who designed you and knows
everything about you is the same One who cares about you more than you
even care for yourself.

   God has given us life. After He made man and woman, He said that
what He had done was good. The heart of God is to give to others and
make them happy. His hopes were that they would enjoy His world and
enjoy His presence. But even though He made the whole world and has
continued to be good to all of us, for the most part we don't want Him
to have anything to do with our lives. Remember this the next time you
feel hurt and rejected, because Jesus has been hurt and rejected in a
much greater way. Still, His only desire is that perhaps once again
people will enjoy His world and His presence in their lives.

   The Manufacturer's Manual

   "So what's wrong with being gay, anyway? It's my sexual preference.
What difference does it make? Didn't God make us the way we are?" So
many have struggled with homosexual desires that there's a growing
confusion as to whether or not it's wrong, and whether a person can
really be free from it all. There are a lot of "experts" who seem to
come up with a new "answer" every day, but in order to get the
unchanging truth, we need to look into the Manufacturer's Manual-the
Bible. God has made each one of us in a special way, "custom designed"
really. In fact, He holds the only patent on the human race. So if
anyone knows how we're supposed to work the best...He does! And to show
us the right way to live, He has given us the Bible-the most printed
and read book in the world. God wants us to be filled with real
happiness, and through the Bible He shows us the way to life, and the
way to death.

   The Law: For Us Or Against Us?

   To keep us from destroying ourselves and each other, the Lord set up
certain laws. It's because He really cares about us that He did this.
Have you ever been at someone's house where the kids are running all
over the place, yelling, fighting, covered in dirt and the parents just
stare at the T.V.? That's not love, is it? Besides making everyone else
miserable, the children themselves are suffering. We have laws about
speeding and drunk driving, too, to protect us, and we know they're for
our own good.

   So God isn't some kind of killjoy trying to prevent anyone from
having any fun, rather, His laws are to enable us to get the maximum
out of life. His rules aren't a bunch of arbitrary "dos and don'ts"
either -they all make total sense when you stand back and take a look
at the whole picture.

   Just about everyone recognizes the fact that murder is wrong. We
don't think its wrong because there's a law against it, rather, we made
laws because it is wrong. If you said, "Hey, I don't like this law of
gravity. It's too confining. I want to be free..." and proceeded to
step out of a 10th floor window-you'd end up destroying yourself (and
maybe someone else too!).

   The law of gravity only recognizes reality. In the same way, the
laws or principles that God has given us in the Bible only show us the
way things really are.

   We've been carefully designed, body, mind, and soul, for a specific
purpose, and have a responsibility to use our lives in a right way. You
know what happens to the tip of a pocket knife when you try to use it
for a screwdriver or a pry bar...the tip breaks off. That's because it
wasn't designed for that purpose. It's the same way with our lives.

   It's when we misuse our lives for selfish reasons that everything is
knocked out of kilter. God loves each person, but hates selfishness
because He sees how it destroys us, our relationships, and others.

   Don't Be Fooled

   The Lord makes it clear that He never intended men and women to be
gay, and He also makes it clear that those who practice these things
cannot be at peace with Him or even at peace with themselves. He told
us a long time ago, "Don't fool yourselves. those who live immoral
lives, who are idol worshipers, adulterers, or homosexuals - will have
no share in His kingdom." (1 Cor.6:9-10 LB) And again He warns us, "The
penalty for homosexual acts is death to both parties." (Lev.20:13 LB)
Because of God's heart toward us, He has given us these warnings for
our own good.

   Jesus said that He came to bring us life. Remember, He's the One who
designed designed you. He promises us that if we walk with Him,
following His good directions and commands, we'll have real happiness
and there will be peace in our hearts. But He also promises that if we
think we know better, and push away from Him to follow our selfishness,
the exact opposite will happen to us. The tremendous spread of disease
among gays and immoral straights would not exist if we listened to the
instructions of God, which are for our own protection, good, and
happiness.

   Turning From God

   Here's how the Scriptures say people end up far away from God -
"Yes, they knew about Him all right, but they wouldn't admit it or
worship Him or even thank Him for all His daily care. And after awhile
they began to thing up silly ideas of what God was like and what He
wanted them to do. The result was that their foolish minds became dark
and confused." (Rom.1:21 LB)

   This is what happens:

   1] At some point in our life we know about God and know He's real.
2] We don't agree with Him and so we're ungrateful. Instead of thanks,
we complain about this and that. 3] We start looking for excuses and
false reasons; we speculate, hoping to justify our selfish desires. 4]
Wandering away from the truth that we once knew, we walk into darkness
and error.

   Then God says that "They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and
worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator." (Rom.1:25
KJV) Of course, this applies to all people that have turned from God,
but if you've been around the gay scene in any way, you know that men
and women end up worshiping and serving their own bodies. A cruising
homosexual in the Tenderloin of San Francisco said, "The trading of
bodies in a gay bar is the most insensitive thing on earth. It is
degrading and repulsive, because most gay bars are now just information
whorehouses, dispensing gossip, pamphlets, and raising money for
political causes.

   God Gives Up

   What would you do if you were in the Lord's position? He wants the
best for us, but we just won't listen. When people get to the point
that they don't care at all about what's right or true anymore because
they've traded the truth for a lie, God throws His hands up in the air
and says, "O.K., go ahead and do what you want." "For this reason God
gave them over to degrading passions." (Rom.1:26) We crave and desire
and pull so hard, like a dog on a leash wanting to run in the street,
that although it breaks his heart to do so, the Lord finally cuts the
leash and lets us go where we want.

   This is the rest of the scripture, "For this reason God gave them
over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural
function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men
abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire
towards one another, men with men committing indecent acts and
receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error."
(Rom.1:26-27 KJV) Please don't let anyone tell you that the "natural
function" of a homosexual is for members of the same sex, and that it
would be "unnatural" for them to be heterosexual. (This is a common
argument among some groups.) There is NO Scripture upholding gay sex,
and the Lord calls gayness itself ERROR.

   The Real Problem

   The real problem here is nothing new, and it's not unique to people
faced with homosexual desires. The problem is trying to do what's right
when you feel like doing something else. Everyone struggles with
desires and temptations for things that aren't good. Jesus was tempted
more than any man ever was tempted yet He did not sin. To be tempted is
not wrong, it is when you give into those desires that you commit sin.
Even having strong temptations every day isn't evil (but it is hard).

   You can decide to yield to God and seek His help to do what is
right, despite the desires in the opposite direction.

   On the other hand, somebody else might have a tremendous desire to
love and serve God with all his heart - but he never really gets around
to doing anything pleasing to the Lord. Do you think that God will say,
"Oh well, at least he wished he was doing right"? Can you imagine
standing in front of a judge in traffic court saying, "But your honor,
I really wanted to stop at that red light"? He's not going to care at
all what you wanted to do, what he wants to know is what did you end up
doing?

   The Battleground

   The battle is not over your desires, but over your will. The people
that the Lord gives up to their selfish desires are not people who
couldn't do what was right, but people who wouldn't do what was right.
Jesus said, "And this is the judgment, that the light is come into the
world, and men loved the darkness rather than the light; for their
deeds were evil." (John 3:19) It's not just a matter of liking the
darkness. No, loving the darkness is an intense clinging with no
letting go.

   When we give in to the temptations of the enemy (yes, the devil is
very real), we can't blame God for making us this way. The One who sees
to the core of our hearts says that, "Each one is tempted when he is
carried away and enticed by his OWN lust." (James 1:14) We're not
dragged into rebellion by the way we grew up either, although many
times our childhood experiences makes it easier to rebel. But in the
end, we make our own choices. We decide to give in. We are enticed by
our own lust.

   Whoever or whatever you yield yourself to is your god. If what you
"feel" like doing determines what you do, then your feelings are your
god. If what you crave after overcomes your will, then the appetite of
your flesh is your god. As a gay man put it, "My desires took over my
reasoning."

   Guilt

   Some of us hate that word - "guilt." But guilt serves a very good
purpose. The very presence of guilt proves that we can do what is
right. If your boss gave you a shovel and told you to fill in the Grand
Canyon in one afternoon, you wouldn't feel guilty for not doing it,
would you? Or if your coach asked you to jump a 50 foot wall, you
wouldn't feel bad about not being able to do it, because you know you
couldn't.

   It's when we can do what's right and we don't do it that we feel
guilty. We feel that way because we know we should be doing something
else. God sends guilt to us as an alarm. Just like the pain in a
stubbed toe, the message being sent is, "Something is wrong." When the
red lights of your conscience go off telling you "Danger! Danger!" and
you keep pushing, slowly you lose your feelings of guilt. The Bible
says that in the last days many people will be "seared in their own
conscience as with a branding iron." (1 Tim. 4:2) Just because you may
not feel guilty as you used to is not a sign that you're safe - far
from it.

   Can I Be Free?

   If you're wondering if God will fix up your life, the answer is no,
He won't. He wants to give you a totally NEW LIFE. Face it - you can't
change your desires, and without the power of the Living God in you
life, you can't even change your actions because you're a slave to your
appetites. Jesus said that "You shall know the truth, and the truth
shall make you free." (John 8:32) But you can't be set free from the
power of strong desires and wrong actions until you first admit that
you're a slave. You must see that you've been wrong for giving in to
these desires if you're guilty of doing that.

   When you humble yourself before the Lord, admitting your guilt and
shame, giving the reins of your life completely over to Him, then Jesus
will come to you with loving forgiveness and life-changing power. As
you yield your will to Jesus, He will lead you into the life of
wholeness and peace that you've always really desired. God is what has
been missing in your life all this time.

   The Lord moves in different ways in each person's life. Some people
are instantly delivered ways in each person's life. Some people are
instantly delivered from the power of these desires when they cry out
to the Lord. Others are set free as they continue to follow Jesus,
making right choices, and allowing His power to release them from years
of wrong thought patterns and actions.

   If you wonder if it's really possible, even the first Christians
knew the freedom that Jesus brought:

   "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you
formerly walked...Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of
our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were
by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God being rich in
mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we
were dead in our sins, made us alive together with Christ." (Eph. 2:1-5)

   Did you know that Jesus went through exactly the same temptations as
you? He knows just what it's like, and He has victory for you. "We
don't have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but
one who has been tempted in ALL THINGS as we are, yet without sin. Let
us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we
may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need." (Heb.
4:15-16)

   Jesus really does care for you and always has. He's not only willing
to take away all of your guilt and shame, but if you will turn to Him
with your heart, turning from all you know to be wrong, He will give
you a NEW LIFE. That means not just turning from homosexuality, but
from anything that holds you back from giving everything to the Lord:
drinking, anger, hate, unforgiveness, love of money, lying...all those
things. It may sound too simple, but the testimony of those who were
once bound by homosexuality can confirm that the lord is telling the
truth.

   "As I discovered the intense, intimate love of God for ME, I was set
free from that consuming drive which had held me a slave to
perversion." - Taken from "The Man in The Mirror, by Sy Rogers."

   "I have truly COME OUT now. I have come out from the HELL I was
living. I have come out of the gay closet. And that's what it was - a
closet...a dark, closed-in, cluttered, confusing life-style - from
which there is only one exit. That exit is Jesus and He has set me
free." Taken from "How I Came Out, by Mark Pierpont."

   Does all this sound too foolish and too simple for such a deep
problem? Then you haven't seen the power of God. "For the word of the
cross is to those who are perishing foolishness, but to us who are
being saved it is the power of God...the foolishness of God is wiser
than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men." (1 Cor. 1:18,
25) I'm not saying it's going to be easy. It will probably be a battle
all the way, but Jesus came to us and went through HORROR, overcoming
the enemy so that we could live life at peace with God once again.
Don't try to hide from Him. He can change your heart and your life if
you will only yield to Him. He really cares about you, but if you
continue to let yourself be dragged around by your desires, you will
destroy yourself in this life and, in the end, you will stand before a
God from whom you can find no hiding place. There is still time, and
still hope. It's not too late for anyone who is really serious. Reach
out to Jesus...He's waiting for you

   Do You Want Help?

   There are concerned people who know what you're going through and
know how to help. Many of them have been set free from homosexuality
themselves and would love to help you in any way that they could. If
you or someone you love is struggling with homosexuality, you can
receive helpful literature or counseling. Just write one of the groups
listed below.

   We love you!

   Exodus International (A referral organization that can put you in
touch with a ministry in your area.) U.S. and all non-European
countries: P.O Box 2121 San Rafael, CA 94912

   Europe:

   C/O Mark Hallett P.O. Box 3 Wirral, Merseyside England L49 6NY

   Outpost P.O. Box 4222 Minneapolis, MN 55414

   Love In Action P.O. Box 2655 San Rafael, CA 94912

   Mount Hope, Inc P.O. Box 1511 Hagerstown, MD 21741-1511

   We have a few other articles that we feel would be very helpful to
you, and we'd love to send you a copy at no charge or obligation. Just
write us and ask for "The Man In The Mirror" (LD#59), "The Father Heart
Of God" (LD#46), "Hurt And Bitterness" (LD#57), "Do You Feel Like
Giving Up?" (LD#9), and "How To Find God" (LD#42).

   Also available are two teachings on audio and video cassette -
"Misconceptions About Homosexuality" and "Hoe To Minister To The
Homosexual." For information on how to order these and other teachings,
ask for "Reply T."

   A Word To The Church

   Jesus said that He didn't come for the healthy, but for the sick.

   However, it seems that the only people wanted in some churches are
those who "have it all together." Please don't shy away from those who
are struggling with these kinds of desires. They're sometimes made to
feel like social "lepers" because of the pride and aloofness of others
in the church, and so are driven away. We are our brother's keepers,
and we are to "Restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness." (Gal. 6:1)

   Remember that "Whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one
point, he has become guilty of all. So speak and so act, as those who
are to be judged by the law of liberty. For judgment will be merciless
to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment." James
2:10, 12-13) Let's be grateful that we're under mercy, and learn to
extend it to others.

   NOTE:

   Martin Bennett (the author of this series) has been with Last Days
Ministries since 1978 and, as one of the elders, he is committed to
seeing Jesus glorified not only in his life, but in the Ministry here
as a whole. He oversees the Printing and Graphics Departments and is a
frequent teacher for our staff and those in the Intensive Christian
Training School. He and his wife, Sharon, live here at the ranch, and
they have been a continual source of inspiration for all of us.

   Last Days Ministries Box 40, Lindale TX 75771-0040

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