Sermons By Various Authors

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A two-part sermon given by Pastor Star R. Scott
at Calvary Temple, Sterling, Va.
on Sunday, March 24, 1991
and condensed for SMCIS use by
Michael D. O'Connor
Friday, May 3, 1991

EDITOR'S NOTE:
When I heard the sermon presented by my pastor, I was convicted and it
reminded me of the BBS I'm currently connecting with. How so vulnerable
is the BBS to gossip and strife! That's why I'm presenting a somewhat
condensed form of this two-part sermon, given in the morning and evening
services on Sunday. What I will talk about will be subjects that involve
taming the tongue, strife, gossip, talebearing, and being a busybody. May
you be ministered to by the Holy Spirit as you read this. Happy reading!

On references to refraining the tongue:

1 Peter 3:10
"For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his
tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:"

Evil conversation = anything that's not edifying, contrary to the
Word, contrary to the edification of the body of Christ.

Psalms 34:13
"Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile."

But James says:

James 3:8
"But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of
deadly poison."

So how do we tame the tongue to be in keeping with 1 Peter 3:10 and
Psalms 34:13, if no man can tame it?

We know that if God tells us to do something rather very difficult or
even impossible to do, he'll provide a means for us to do so. In this
particular case, the key to the means of taming the tongue is found in:

Matthew 12:34-35
34 ...for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
35 A good man out of the treasure of the heart bringeth forth good
things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth
evil things.

...and in:

Luke 6:45
"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that
which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart
bringeth forth that which is evil; for out of the abundance of the
heart his mouth speaketh."

I assume you understand that the only way to make the heart a good
one is to hide the Word in your heart. It is beyond the scope of this
essay (sermon, rather) to go off and teach on this, but the following
references apply:

Psalms 119:9, 11 John 15:3 John 17:17 Ephesians 5:26
1 Peter 1:22

The purpose of this is to show that the heart can be changed,
cleaned, or purified only by the Word of God. You can't do it
yourself.

Therefore the only way the tongue can be tamed is by the re-filling of
your heart with the Word of God. Because "out of the *abundance* of
the heart the mouth speaks." Or, out of the abundance of the heart
the e-mail messages are written.

Now, notice two more refs to evil speaking:

Ephesians 4:31
"Let bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking,
be put away from among you, with all malice..."

And James 4:11
"Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his
brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth
the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but
a judge."

Quite a statement. A lot of food for thought.

Now, to shift gears and change direction. The Word gives us further
admonitions concerning strife, note the inclusion of the word hatred:

Proverbs 10:12
"Hatred stirs up strifes, but love covereth all sins."

James 3:16
"For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil
work."

Strife = expressed hatred.

The reason people want to expose other's weaknesses is because of that
spirit of hatred that resides in each of us (in the flesh). It's when
I begin to speak critically of (or to criticize) a person, contrary to
Biblical principles, rather than to bring edification or reconciliation,
that I let that spirit of hatred work in me. The motivation is, then,
self-love. If you love yourself more than your brother (I'm talking about
self-love, not the love of God in us that enables us to love ourselves so
we can love others with this love), you're more prone to speak critically
of him, both to him and to others... True love (death to self) does not
criticize, but actually puts self to death to make things easier on the
brothers & sisters, bring them comfort, by the actions of edification and
reconcilation, instead of yielding to the flesh in which strife thrives
on. True love is like that of the 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 description.

Proverbs 13:10
"Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom."

Every contention that occurs is because of pride.

Here's an interesting question:

Why do I assume somebody else is always out of line and out to get me,
and I assume I'm always right? Why do I assume I'm right and everybody
else is wrong? Pride, that's why.

Put yourself in the shoes of "I" in this example:
I've been taking notes on Fred. My motive is pure. I want to help him
out. (Anything wrong with that? No, the motive's good.) So it all goes
well... until Fred starts taking notes on me. Fred comes up to me and
says, "Hey, what're you doing taking notes on me? Why are you being
critical of me? Why are you judging me?"

What just happened here? I assumed Fred's motive was wrong, based on
carnality, but mine is right. Why do I have to assume that his actions
are precipitated by carnality? Why does everybody? Pride, once more.
(If you're quiet [i.e. no "Amen" from you], you must know somebody like
that...) <Grin>

If you say Fred is the one who has pride, you missed the whole thing,
though that may or may not be true. See Matthew 7:3-5.

Philippians 2:3
"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of
mind let each esteem other better than themselves."

Conclusion: assume, if you're going to, that others' motives are pure.
You'll save a lot of headache this way. You'll be safer this way. If
the guy's motive is based on pride, it'll affect him and not you. That's
if you don't join your head with his in a headlock.

You *better* be able to receive such corrections/counsels from others,
if you're going to be in a position of handing them out.

But if you find yourself rebutted by a person to whom you've counseled
and you're sure of the validity of the counsel (must be in line with
the Word), and there's reason to believe that the person will not listen,
it's better to turn the other cheek than to fall into contention. And if
you start talking about that person to others, (i.e. horizontally),
you've involved yourself into gossip, which is the next topic
following... covered later in this submittal.

Isn't it amazing that the people who have all the answers for everybody
are not willing to listen to any counsel themselves? <Grin>

1 Corinthians 10:12
"Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall."

So I don't trust my flesh. I trust God. So I refrain from entering
a conflict that could turn into a contention. I know what my flesh
can do.

Back to the Proverbs passage...

Proverbs 13:10
"Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom."

In every contentious conflict between two people, both are always wrong.
Why? Answer: pride.

The spirit of contention is pride. The root problem is pride. That's
why Jesus told us to turn the other cheek. Take the reproof, the
reproach, even the shame. "But I gotta justify the thing I did..." Why?
So you can remain in pride, so you can save face? Why justify yourself,
if pride is the root problem? The wise man is he who takes the reproof
and leaves the contention behind, so the strife will cease. You don't
have to prove that you're right. To do so lets pride have its place;
this is nothing but childishness. Just like children. The wise man
doesn't get involved in this garbage to justify himself, even if he's
right. It is sheer stupidity to reduce ourselves to the level that
children are on when it comes to arguments. It's amazing sometimes
to see it happen among adults, especially Christians.

Proverbs 15:18
"A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger
appeaseth strife."

A "wrathful man" is one who is quick to anger. He can easily get
ticked off. Where there's bitter envying and strife, there is every
evil work (James 3:16).

Proverbs 17:19
"He loveth transgression [sin] that loveth strife: and he that exalteth
his gate seeketh destruction."

So he that involves himself in strife loves transgression. Hmmm...
striking.

Proverbs 18:6
"A fool's lips enter into contention and his mouth calleth for strokes."

Anybody ever dealt with this individual before? If you're involved in
the contentions of strife, you're a fool! A fool is someone who doesn't
believe God exists, etc. You don't believe you'll be responsible for
your words.

You might say, surely there's no dire consequence to even a little
contention of strife. This is the same as saying what Satan said:
"Go ahead and partake of the fruit, you won't really die..." in
Genesis. Right back to the original sin. All he did was plant the
slightest seed of doubt into Eve's mind to cause Eve to be in strife
with God. How many of you think that brought on a major consequence?
<Grin>

Yet we, when we involve ourselves in gossip about somebody, also plant
seeds of doubt about the character, ability, whatever it might be, of
that somebody. It's satanic. It's witchcraft. It's earthly wisdom
(James 3:14-15, in context). It's gossip. It's talebearing.

Matthew 12:36
"But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they
shall give account thereof in the day of judgment."

"Idle word" here refers to words that are void of power, words that
drop to the ground as soon as they are spoken, words that have no
Biblical applicability or are not good fruit. "Unfruitful" would be
a good rendering in place of "idle." Words spoken in strife are such
idle words.

So what do we do with the person who continually sows strife? The
following applies:

2 Timothy 2:23-26
23 But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender
strifes.
24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all
men, apt to teach, patient,
25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God
peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the
truth;
26 And that they may recover themselves from the snare of the devil,
who are taken captive by him at his will.

Quite a statement. The devil can take captive those that are opposing
themselves by getting into contentions. This is because the contentious
person puts himself into that predicament. Suppose that person refuses
to listen to counsel? The following applies:

Proverbs 22:10
"Cast out the scorner [one who mocks God, mocks the Word of God, mocks
established authority, asserts his own discernments as truth] and
contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease."

Proverbs 26:21
"As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a
contentious man that kindleth strife."

A contentious man is a person who "cuts apart," having to do with
"separating," which fuels strife. Which causes divisions.

Previous verse:
"Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no
talebearer, the strife ceaseth."

So once you cast out the scorner, the problem stops. This applies
very fittingly in this BBS.

Shifting gears again. The word "talebearer" brings on a new angle.
So if there's a gossip juice on the grapevine, guess what? You've
got more than one talebearer.

How many of you can keep a secret? I'd wager only a very few. Why?
Everybody loves to gossip. Disperse information. Be a talebearer.
Pride. (Satan says, "Yeah!")

Much of the time, when you disperse information horizontally, you get
involved in talebearing and gossiping. When the subject of the
talebearing and gossip is on a person (it almost always is), you're
bringing strife into the home of your friend by gossiping, talebearing.
When this happens, you've passed beyond your realm of personal
responsibility which was entrusted to you. Even if you only tell your
best friend, that makes you a talebearer! You should be confronting
the person himself, instead of being a talebearer.

But when there's a personal confrontation between us, I bring it you
personally on the basis of the Biblical principle of reconciliation
and restoration. This is not talebearing, because the issue is between
us. It's not about anybody else. This is to bring about repentance,
edification, forgiveness. Then we forget about it, it's solved, it's
over with, it won't be brought up again. This is the Biblical way to
deal with a situation like this. But the moment I begin to spread this
horizontally, I get involved in talebearing and gossiping, which is
totally contrary to Scripture.

But if I cannot rectify this conflict, if I can't resolve this
situation, then what do I do? Scripturally, what I have to do
is use the God-ordained mechanism of spiritual authority and
oversight to where I can deal with this vertically, to take it
to another sphere of responsibility... you always disperse this
problem and information *up.* Vertically, not horizontally, out
of your sphere of responsibility. Disperse the information up...
in the body, or, if a domestic issue, in the home. Disperse it to
your deacon, or, if you're a wife, to your husband. If you're a
deacon, to the associate pastor or pastor. If you're a user on this
BBS, to the Forum manager or the Sysop. It'll *protect* you.

The moment you take the information out of your sphere of
responsibility and spread it horizontally, you're taking it into
an unprotected sphere, in an area where Satan can take you captive
at his will (2 Timothy 2:23-26). He's wiser than you, he'll bring
you *down.*

On the phone, do you think the person on the other end is going to
keep a secret, if you ask him to? After he hangs up, he dials another
number... <click click click, click click click...> on a touch-tone,
<breep, beep, bawp...> and on a modem, <bleep-beep-blip-bleep-blip...>

1 Timothy 5:13 (for women)
"And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house;
and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things
they ought not."

(The above is for men, also, even though the context refers to women.)

Busybody = someone who is involved in someone else's business and
busy dispersing it horizontally. Going around and spreading it.

If you don't think being a busybody is so bad, see -->

1 Peter 4:15
"But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an
evildoer [somebody involved in all kinds of vices, lasciviousness,
evil, immorality, etc.] or as a busybody in other men's matters."

So if you're a busybody, you might as well be a murderer. You might as
well be an evildoer. Rather than be a busybody, it's better to bring
drugs into your friend's house. Or bring a couple of hand grenades.
As long as there's no busybodying! As long as you don't bring strife
into your friend's house.

So the minute you pass this information on to a friend, you're a
busybody. In God's sight, you're a murderer. How great a matter a
little fire kindleth! The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity:
so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body,
and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of
hell. (James 3:5-6)

If you have an attitude problem with a person, or if you know of a
person who has an attitude problem with you, you don't disperse it
horizontally. That's how People's Magazine, tabloids, and even talk
shows and the news make money. People love gossip. We expect this
to happen in this world, but we are not to be of this kind. You don't
solicit support from others in your rebuttal to a person that you have
an attitude with.

(I have found it desireable to e-mail to others about this person,
that person, horizontally, but have refrained from doing so. This
is before I heard this sermon... this is what I like about the Word,
it vindicates me. Especially when it comes to personal guidance.
Then somebody preaches on it, and confirms my personal guidance. I
love it!)

What you should do, if the person has an attitude problem with you,
or if you see something he's doing (or is not doing) contrary to the
Word), is go directly to the person and rectify the problem. Confront
him with the Word of God. But not if you're the one with an attitude
problem with that person. In that case, you pray to God about it. Most
likely you're the problem, not the person you have an attitude with...
for when does such an attitude bring on righteousness? (James 1:20)

If you can't rectify the problem immediately, what do you do? Disperse
it horizontally? No.

You disperse it *upwards*. Up the ladder of responsibility: to
your deacon, or, if you're a wife, to your husband, if the situation
concerns your children or any domestic situation (not to your best
friend). To whomever is in the next authority over you in the
jurisdiction of the situation in which the incident occurred. If
you're not a deacon, don't try to bypass the deacon to the pastor;
that's part of what the deacon is there for. (Of course, if your
church doesn't operate that way, that's a different matter...) If
it occurs here on this BBS, to the Sysop, or to the Forum manager.
You can disperse it upwards to God, too, and pray for the individual.

How great a matter a little fire kindleth... if words were written
uncontrolled on this BBS.

May the Holy Spirit guide you into all truth... with love, Mike