The following message was delivered at Grace Community Church in Panorama
City, California, by John MacArthur Jr. It was transcribed from the tape, GC
56-6, titled "The Required Character for a Pastor: Family Leadership" A copy
of the tape can be obtained by writing, Word of Grace, P.O. Box 4000,
Panorama City, CA 91412 or by dialing toll free 1-800-55-GRACE.
I have made every effort to ensure that an accurate transcription of the
original tape was made. Please note that at times sentence structure may
appear to vary from accepted English conventions. This is due primarily to
the techniques involved in preaching and the obvious choices I had to make in
placing the correct punctuation in the article.
It is my intent and prayer that the Holy Spirit will use this transcription
to strengthen and encourage the true Church of Jesus Christ.
The Required Character for a Pastor
Family Leadership
(Titus 1:6)
by
John MacArthur
We are so blessed week in and week out to be studying together the Word of
God, and have its truths opened to our hearts and minds by the Holy Spirit.
What a tremendous, tremendous privilege it is. Every text that we come to as
the months and years go by carries with it such great truths, such heart
searching truth, such life changing truth. I find that the adventure of my
own preparation each week is an exhilarating joy. This week, however, as was
last week is a bit hard for me to preach because I am talking about what I
do, in talking about the qualifications for one who is a pastor.
I want you to understand that I come to this pulpit humbly, and I come to
this pulpit not at all advocating myself as the pattern or the model for
these things. I come to the pulpit as one who is really, myself, under the
authority of what the Scripture says, and I must bring it to bear upon my own
life, so this is, indeed, an exercise in my own spiritual life. I have been
through this text now for days and days, and it has searched out my own
heart, as do all of those that particularly pertain to the ministry and those
who are qualified. Whatever God has done in my life and ministry and
whatever He is doing and shall do in the future is strictly and only due to
His grace, which is abundant in me, and for which I give Him all the glory.
We are studying Titus, chapter 1, and we are looking at verses 5-9, which
give us the required character for a pastor or an elder. We are examining
what kind of man the Lord wants to lead His church. This instruction is
explicit, unarguable; it is not negotiable. It is simple and
straightforward; it tells us precisely, without equivocation that there are
certain men who fit as leaders in the Lord's church, and there are certain
men who do not. It is crucial for the life of the church, the future of the
church, that it might continue to become more and more like Jesus Christ,
that the right men are its pastors, elders, overseers, [and] leaders.
In general, the role of leadership is one of example. Obviously, precept is
there, but behind anything we say is what we are, and that is why in this
text, starting in verse 5 and running down to verse 9, you don't hear
anything about teaching until you come to verse 9. Only as the last category
of discussion does the Apostle Paul talk about men who are skilled in holding
forth the faithful word. Up until that point everything has to do with
character. The character of the man is the foundation of his preaching and
teaching, because the pattern of his life is the platform for his
proclamation. We are preachers and we are teachers, we are articulators of
truth but at the same time that is done from the platform of a virtuous life.
Leadership primarily is example. We are called to live what we preach and
teach. We are to set a pattern for others to follow in our own lives as well
as what we say.
The Apostle Paul reminds us of that in a number of places, as do other New
Testament writers. Philippians 3:17, Paul says, "Brethren, join in following
my example, and observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in
us." Follow people who follow me because I follow Christ--that's leadership
in the church. In 2 Thessalonians, chapter 3, and verse 9, Paul says that we
"offer ourselves as a model for you, that you might follow our example." In
1 Timothy, chapter 4, and verse 12, Paul says to Timothy, that you are to be
an example "in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity"--an example that
others can follow. In Hebrews, chapter 13, and verse 7, the readers are told
to remember those who led them, who spoke the Word, and they are to imitate
their faith. Follow their life pattern. In 1 Peter 5, Peter says that
undershephards, pastors, are to be examples to the flock. I supposed it is
summed up in 1 Corinthians 11:1 where Paul says, "Be ye followers of me, as I
am of Christ."
And so leadership is basically spiritual virtue, spiritual character,
spiritual maturity, godliness, holiness, righteousness, integrity of life
that sets a pattern for others to follow. When Paul wants to find a way to
illustrate this kind of leadership; when he wants to find some other arena to
draw as an analogy for this, interestingly enough, he chooses the family.
Look at a very important text, 1 Thessalonians, chapter 2. Paul here is
describing to the Thessalonians the nature of his ministry, and he describes
it beginning in verse 7, in some very wonderful terms. 1 Thessalonians 2:7,
We proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly
cares for her own children. Having thus a fond affection for
you, we were well-pleased to impart to you, not only the gospel
of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear
to us. For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how
working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we
proclaimed to you the gospel of God.
You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly
and blamelessly we behaved towards you believers; just as you
know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each
one of you as a father would his own children, so that you may
walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own
kingdom and glory.
Verse 7 mentions a mother and verse 11 mentions a father, and all around
those two are various characteristics of a mother and a father. The
gentleness, the nursing mother, the tender care, the fond affection, the
giving of our lives, the very dear way in which we treated you. The labor,
the hardship, the work, the upright blameless example, the exhortation,
encouragement, and imploring of you, all speak of parental activity. We
lived with you, we nurtured you, we loved you, we cared for you, we set a
pattern for you, we sacrificed for you, we worked for you, we witnessed to
you, we exhorted, encouraged, implored you. We wanted you to be worthy and
to walk in a worthy way.
There you have the image of the consummate leader in the church. He is not
like a CEO in a company, not at all. He is like a father in a family; he is
like a mother in a family. He is a combination of both of those in a
spiritual parent. He is tender and loving and compassionate. He has a
compulsive love which gives its life for the nurturing of others no matter
how great the toil to do so. He is strong, he is persuasive, he is
motivating, he is courageous, he sets the pace for others, he sets the model
by example, and this is a parenting kind of picture. He lives a life to be
imitated.
The spiritual leader in the church is not primarily a producer as industry
calls them, somebody who works hard. He is not primarily a manager, that is,
somebody who gets people to work; he is a leader--that is someone who lives a
life that others want to copy. That's what leadership is. The producer is
somebody who can do a job. The manager is somebody who can mobilize people
to accomplish an end. The leader is someone that others want to be
like--that's what spiritual leadership is. We are not just producers. I am
not just in the church to produce sermons. We are not just managers. I am
not here to organize and structure and mobilize the church to some
accomplished goal.
All pastors and elders are here to become patterns that you desire to follow,
people you want to become like because they pattern for you the very things
that they teach from the Word of God. There is no better way to see that
than in the analogy of parenting, and that is why Paul chooses it there in
1 Thessalonians. Paul many times refers to those that are Christians and
saints in his life as his children. John calls them, "His children in the
faith." Peter calls the believers "children." Why? Because they all
understand that spiritual leadership is a kind of parenting role where you
live before people, you set an example before them, as well as teaching and
instructing them--they go together.
When you have the responsibility to lead people to Christ, and to lead them
to sanctification and holiness, and to lead them to service for the Lord
Jesus Christ--you are fathering them, you are nurturing them, you are
parenting them, moving them along, and your life must back up what you say,
if you are to have the power of integrity and creditability in that effort.
Now, I believe that's really a very important concept to have in mind as you
come to the text of Titus, chapter 1. Let's go there. Titus, chapter 1,
Titus says,
For this reason (verse 5) I left you in Crete, that you might
set in order what remains, and appoint elders in every city as I
directed you, namely, if any man be above reproach, a one-woman
man, (and now for this morning we look at this statement) having
children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion.
Now if you are to be a leader of the Lord's church, if you are to be a father
to the family of God (as we read about in 1 Thessalonians, chapter 2) what
better way to qualify yourself than by proving your spiritual leadership in
your own family. If you want to know whether a man lives an exemplary life,
if you want know whether he can lead someone to faith in Christ by the power
of his own virtue, if you want to know whether he can teach the truth, if you
want to know whether he can model it, whether he is consistent, whether he
can lead people to salvation, lead them to holiness, lead them to serve God,
then look at the most intimate relationships in his life and see if he can do
it there. See if he has integrity there. See if the credibility is there.
Does a man have integrity and virtue? Does a man have true godliness and
righteousness in all his ways? Are the principles that he wants to teach
lived out in the most intimate way in his own life? Is he able to lead
someone to Christ by the power of his testimony and consistency? Is he
trustworthy? Is he godly? Is he virtuous? Do you want to know the answer
to that? Look at his family! And you will find the people who know him
best, who know him most intimately, who see him most closely, who understand
every part of him. If you want to find the answer to what kind of man he
is--ask the people who know him best.
There are many fathers who work hard and some fathers who manage their
households well, keep everything controlled, but do not lead their children
to Christ, and do not lead their children to godliness, and do not lead their
children to serving the Lord. The men who do are candidates for being pastor
or elder. That's what he is saying here, since spiritual leadership is a
kind of parenting where you don't just talk it, you live it. And where you
must be able to lead people by your life as well as your precepts to certain
levels of understanding the truth, which leads to salvation and holiness and
service, you need to look at some proving ground where you can see that
happening. Paul is simply saying here that the proving ground is in the
home. It's in the home.
Now, this is somewhat a provocative concept, I understand, and you may be
having all kinds of thoughts, not all of which I will attempt to answer
anymore than this text does. But the simple statement here is, "The man who
is to be considered for leadership in the church is a man who has proven his
spiritual leadership in the most intimate place--that's his own family."
Now remember, Paul is arming Titus here, as at the end of verse 5 he said, "I
already directed you about this." He is simply writing down what they have
already discussed, not so much for Titus' benefit but for the benefit of the
churches in which Titus will be having to have to do his work. And it isn't
an easy work, he's on that island called Crete and he is going from place to
place to straighten up what is broken or bent or crooked, and to ordain
elders in every city where there was a church. Just going in and saying,
"Look, I am going to pick some elders out here and have you people affirm
them," was not an easy task, and the church might sort of quibble about who
would be selected, so to arm Titus effectively, the Lord inspires Paul to
write down the very specific qualifications.
Now these qualifications starting in verse 6, down to verse 9, can be divided
into four categories. The first was sexual morality; the second (we are
looking at today) is family leadership; the third, in verses 7 and 8, is
general character; and the forth and final one in verse 9, is teaching skill.
If someone is to be an elder or a pastor they must qualify in all four
categories: sexual morality, family leadership, general character, and
teaching skill. And when a man does, of course, in general he will be a man,
as verse 6 says and verse 7, "Who is above reproach." A fourfold package, if
you will, and if you are not qualified in one of the four--you do not
qualify.
Now, what he is saying today is we are looking at the matter of family
leadership, and he is saying,
The instruction is simple, Titus, a pastor or elder, overseer in
the church must be a man who has demonstrated his spiritual
leadership ability and his integrity by leading his family to
the truth he holds most precious, which is the very same thing
he must do in the church.
The family, then, becomes the proving ground for his unique kind of
leadership. Can he lead by precept? Can he lead by principle, and can he
support it by the virtue of a righteous life? Look at his children. His
leadership in the family will be the most obvious place to find the answer.
Now let me say this, a few footnotes:
1. It may be that you, as a father, have made every effort, every good and
righteous effort possible to lead your children to faith in Christ, and you
have not seen the fruit that you would desire. You are not responsible for
your child's rejection before God, but neither would you be qualified to be
an elder or a pastor in the church.
2. There is nothing in the Scripture that bars a single man from being an
elder. Paul at the writing of this was probably single, as best we can tell.
There is nothing in Scripture that bars a single man from leadership, from
being an elder in the church. Furthermore, there is nothing in the Scripture
that bars a childless man from being an elder in the church. But where you
don't have marriage, or you don't have children, you have to find other
experiences than those in the home to ascertain the man's spiritual
leadership; and if, indeed, he has been faithful as a spiritual leader in
other arenas that will be available to assess.
So I want you to understand that I don't think that this is a prohibition
against single people or against childless people being elders or
pastors--not at all. It is just that there are going to have to be other
areas in which you look to see the impact and the virtue of that life. And
also when you see this in verse 6, as flowing right behind the statement, "If
a man be above reproach," and right before the statement, verse 7, "the
overseer must be above reproach," you are really talking here primarily about
an "above reproach" man. It is almost like a negative, rather than a
positive. We are wanting to emphasize the positive impact of his
Christianity, but there is also the point that he must have "children who
believe and are not accused of dissipation or rebellion," because they would
become a reproach on him. And obviously if he is not married and doesn't
have any--they couldn't.
So, it's important for us to note those things, but the general thrust is
this: the family is the proving ground where a man demonstrates his spiritual
leadership, and if he has children who believe, who are not involved in
dissipation and rebellion, they will never bring scandal upon his good name
and the integrity of his spiritual leadership. When a man stands in a pulpit
and says this is how to live, this is how to conduct yourself, this is God's
high standard, this is what God expects of you, this is how you are to raise
your children, this is how you pass godliness from one generation to the
next, and you look at his life and you say, "Wait a minute, you have got wild
and uncontrolled children, who live in rebellion and reject the gospel. Why
are you the guy who is telling us how to do this?" You can see it brings
reproach upon his life. It questions the integrity of his message. It sucks
the creditability out of it, and thus the impact.
It is a unique thing that preachers and elders do. It is a unique thing that
requires a very unique grace from God to qualify them to do it. But, please
remember just because someone is not married, or doesn't have a child,
doesn't mean that they are disqualified, it just means that the demonstration
of their spiritual leadership has to be somewhere else. And we need not
worry that one of their children would bring reproach upon them.
Paul is saying, "You want to make sure you select men who have a good
reputation (as he says elsewhere) outside the church as well as inside the
church, who will never be discredited by some unbelieving wayward child, one
who claims to believe but is unruly and sinful." That kind of child would be
a reproach, shattering the model of godly virtue that he is to hold up before
the people on the inside of the church and the outside of the church.
So the standard is both positive--he is to reflect the power of godly living,
and he is also to be protected from embarrassing scandal by wayward children.
Both are essential perspectives for his candidacy to be an elder.
Now some people want to make this an issue of sovereign election whenever you
get into this discussion. There is a lot of discussion about this statement,
by the way, a lot of it. Some people want to say, "Well, it certainly can't
mean that you have to have converted children because that's all up to God's
election, that's all God's sovereignty, and if He doesn't choose to elect
your children then you are in real trouble." Let me answer that by saying
this, that is an unbiblical and fatalistic approach, and is not worthy of a
proper consideration of the impact of a godly life or the responsibility for
evangelism. Salvation comes to people through the faithful witness and godly
example of other people. Is that not true?
Salvation comes to people through the faithful witness and godly example of
other believers. All through Scripture we are continually taught that a
godly life leads people to salvation. Election is the issue with God and the
issue by which we give Him glory, but it is not the consideration to be in
our minds in the process of spiritual living and witness. All through
Scripture we are taught that a godly life leads people to salvation. Let me
show you by way of reminder.
Matthew 5:16; I will give you a number of texts, you might want to write them
down. Just listen as I read them, Matthew 5:16, "Let your light shine before
men in such a way, that they may see your good works and as a result glorify
your Father who is in heaven." In other words, you can live a kind of life
that leads people to glorifying God.
In Acts, chapter 2, we find that this is indeed what happened in the early
church. It says, "They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles'
teaching (Acts 2:42), to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, to prayer.
They had all things in common (verse 44)." Verse 46, "They were worshiping,
they were taking their meals together, breaking bread. They had gladness,
sincerity of heart." Verse 47, "They were praising God." Here are some
powerful transformed lives. "They had favor with all the people," (the
result) "the Lord was adding to their number day-by-day those who were being
saved." Why were they being saved? They were being saved because of the
power of these transformed lives--the impact of godly example.
In Romans, chapter 11, the Apostle Paul writes in verse 14, he says, "My
desire in preaching to the Gentiles is to somehow move to jealously my fellow
countrymen and save some of them." Paul is saying, "If I can minister
effectively among the Gentiles, if my life and ministry is effective there,
it will create a jealously there that will save some Jews." In other words,
what I do has a direct impact on the salvation of others. 1 Corinthians
9:22, Paul says, "To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I
have become all things to all men, that I may by all means save some. I do
everything for the sake of the gospel." In other words, he says, the way I
deal with people is to lead them to salvation by my life. He says, "I become
a slave to all, that I might win the more" (verse 19). "I become a Jew to
the Jews. I become as without law to those who are without law." I become
whatever I need to become to live a life pattern and to reach people that I
might save them.
In 1 Corinthians, chapter 10, verse 31, Paul says, "Whether you eat or drink
or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God. Don't give an offense to
a Jew or to a Greek or to the church." He says, "Just as I also please all
men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that
they may be saved." I do what I need to do, not to offend anybody because
how I live my life leads people to salvation. Do you see that?
Look at Philippians, chapter 2, here it is again, it is the same great
concept. He says in verse 15, Philippians 2, "You are to prove yourself to
be blameless, innocent children of God, above reproach in the midst of a
crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the
world." Here we are living in a world of sin and iniquity. We are to be
blameless, innocent children of God, above reproach in the middle of this
crooked perverse generation. We are to be lights in the middle of the
darkness, holding fast the Word of Life. Why? So that in the day of Christ
(that's in the future), I may have cause to rejoice because I didn't run in
vain nor toil in vain.
What does he mean? In the day of Christ I will see the impact of your life
was to lead others to Christ. That's his point. In the day of Christ I will
rejoice when we are all gathered to Christ, and I will see the power of your
living--your example. In 1 Timothy, chapter 4, verse 12, Paul says, "Don't
let anyone look down on your youthfulness; in speech, conduct, love, faith,
purity, show yourself an example of those who believe." You ought to be a
living illustration of what Christianity is. That's what a Christian leader
should be--a living illustration of what Christianity is.
Then in verse 13 he talks about the preaching and the teaching. Go down to
verse 16, "Pay close attention to yourself and your teaching. Persevere in
both of those things, for as you do this, you will ensure salvation both for
yourself and those who hear you." How you live, along with what you say,
brings salvation to people. Look at 1 Peter, chapter 2, verse 11, "I urge
you as aliens and strangers, abstain from fleshly lusts, which wage war
against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the pagans, so that in
the thing in which they slander you as evil doers, they may on account of
your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation."
Do you know what the day of visitation is? The day of judgment. He says,
wouldn't it be wonderful if in the day of judgment, the pagans who watched
your life glorified God? In other words, they weren't being judged--they
were among the redeemed. They were glorifying God in His judgment because it
wasn't coming on them. They were praising God for delivering them, and what
was the impact that caused them to believe? It was the power of your "good
deeds," as they observed them, in your life. So stay away from fleshly
lusts; keep your behavior excellent, because it can be on account of your
good deeds that people will glorify God in the day of judgment rather than
fearing Him.
Look at 1 Peter 3:1, "You wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that,
even if any of them are disobedient to the Word (unconverted), they may be
won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your
chaste and respectful behavior." The power of a virtuous life. The power of
a godly life is laid out for us all through Scripture, all through Scripture.
You can't just go off on the concept of election and say, "Well, if they are
elect, they will get saved, and if they are not elect, they won't get saved."
The fact of the matter is, God saves people through the means of godliness in
the lives of others. And if I, in my home, am committed to living a godly
life, and a virtuous life, and to proclaiming saving gospel truth that is
lived out in integrity, there is every reason to believe that God in His
grace will use that to redeem my children. It may not always happen, but for
a man that stands in the pulpit to be the model, and who will not be
scandalized by some activity on the part of his children, it is necessary.
And God in His grace, makes it possible.
Let me give you a couple of specific illustrations for the power of Christian
parenting to lead children to salvation. Look at 1 Corinthians, chapter 7.
1 Corinthians, chapter 7, very interesting. There are a lot of issues in
this chapter about marriage, none is more interesting than the one in verses
14 to 16, where you are talking about a marriage of an unbeliever to a
believer. First of all he says (you know), "Don't divorce them, if you are
married to an unbeliever--don't divorce them" (verses 12 and 13 talk about
that). That "Don't send her away" (or him away) thing means, don't divorce.
Why? Well, verse 14, "The unbelieving husband is sanctified through his
wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband,
for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy." Isn't that
interesting?
What he is saying there is, where you have one partner that is converted,
another partner that is unconverted, the unconverted partner can be
sanctified and the result will be holy children. Now some would say that
sanctification is a temporal blessing kind of thing, and it may well include
that, but follow into verses 15 and 16, "Yet if the unbelieving one leaves,
let him leave; the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but
God is called us to peace." In other words, if you have an unbelieving
partner and they want to leave the marriage, they want out of the marriage,
let them go, you are not in bondage. Verse 16, "For how do know, O wife,
whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know O husband, whether
you will save your wife?"
That tends to interpret for me verse 14, so that it is possible that an
unsaved partner can become saved by living with a believer, and that is what
he is saying. If you have a mixed marriage, stay there, it maybe that God
will lead you to bring that person to salvation, with the result that you
both having come to Christ, your children will be made holy. Where you have
godly parents there is every reason to believe you have the opportunity, the
wonderful opportunity, to raise up godly children. He says you don't know
that that's going to happen (verse 16); it doesn't always happen in a mixed
marriage but it can happen, and when it does happen, it tends to make the
children not "unclean" but "holy." It should really be the norm; it should
be the pattern in a Christian marriage that you have holy children--if that
Christianity is real and if those believing ones are faithful to live out
what they say they believe.
An illustration of this, further, would be 1 Timothy, chapter 2. 1 Timothy,
chapter 2, looks at this whole idea of the godly life in the home. 1 Timothy
2:15, this is a discussion about women and the role they play in the church,
the life of the church. He starts out in verse 9 and 10 by talking about how
they dress, and what they look like, and they are certainly to dress
modestly, properly, discreetly, not calling attention to themselves, but
calling attention to their godliness. And then in verse 11, not just how
they dress but how they behave in the church, they are to receive instruction
with submissiveness, to be quiet, not to teach and take authority. And the
reason for this is creative: God made Adam first, and he was to be the head,
and Eve was to follow along. And it was illustrated how important it was
that she follow her husband by the "fall."
Eve was deceived and fell into transgression, led the whole human race into
transgression. Why? Because she came out from under the leadership of Adam
and acted independently. She acted on her own. The serpent was there; she
didn't go back and check with Adam: "Adam, this snake is talking to me. He's
telling me bad stuff! What do I do?" She didn't lean on the strength of her
husband; she didn't follow his headship. She acted independently; she led
the race into sin. She produced, then, a cursed society. She raised up a
cursed seed because of her sin. Adam, of course, sinned in falling in line
with her, but she led the transgression. And so there is a certain stigma on
women that they led the race into sin. Eve was the first to go: she led the
race into that iniquity. Verse 15 comes back and says this, "Women shall
preserved from this stigma (delivered from this stigma, relieved from this
stigma) through the bearing of children."
What is that saying? Women who once raised a generation of cursed children
because of woman's sin, can now raise a generation of godly, blessed,
children because of a woman's righteousness. That's the point. So the woman
is preserved from the stigma; delivered from it through bearing children, if
(follow this) if these women continue "in faith, and love, and purity, with
self-restraint." What does that mean? Well it simply means, if a woman
maintains her godliness, her faith in the Lord, her love for God, her
holiness and purity of life, manifested in self-restraint and self-control,
therefore, she walks in a godly way. She will bring forth children who will
bless, rather than children who will curse.
There is the promise to a woman, that a godly woman can raise a generation of
godly children. Godly parenting is a norm for Christians. This certainly is
illustrated personally in the life of Timothy, look at 2 Timothy 3:15. Paul
says to Timothy, "From childhood you have known the sacred writings which are
able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation, through faith, which is
in Christ Jesus." From the time you were a little child you were taught the
Scripture which leads to salvation.
Go back to chapter 1, verse 5, "I am mindful of the sincere faith within you,
which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois, and your mother Eunice, and I am
sure that it is in you as well." There you have it, grandmother Lois was a
godly woman: she raised a godly daughter. Godly Eunice was a godly woman:
she raised a godly son--Timothy. This is the pattern; godliness passed from
one generation to the next. It is a wonderful and magnificent pattern. God
has designed that the primary unit of human society for which, from which, I
should say, righteousness is passed generation to generation to generation,
is the family.
Now all of that simply to say this: to simply pass this whole thing off as an
election issue is not legitimate. It is not biblical, it is fatalistic. The
Scripture says people are converted as a result of how we live and what we
preach. A godly life proclaiming truth, living with integrity is going to
have a tremendous impact on the conversion of other people, and you are going
to see it in the family, in the home. By the way, as another footnote, it is
somewhat of a curiosity that there is no mention of the wife here. It says,
"He must have children who believe," but it doesn't say anything about his
wife. I think that it is fair to say that the assumption is that she is also
a believer. It's a mute point because it would be assumed. In
1 Corinthians, chapter 9, the Apostle Paul, talking about his own
Apostleship, and his own leadership, and the rest of the Apostles, and all
the brothers of the Lord, and Peter and all of that, says this, "Do we not
have a right to take along a believing wife?" (And there is an emphatic
statement).
Anyone in Christian ministry has a right to have a believing wife. He is
simply saying, "We have a right to be married," but he makes it very clear
that she is a believing wife, I think that was an assumed reality. Another
thing that leads to that conclusion or that assumed reality would be
2 Corinthians, chapter 6, verse 14, "Do not be bound together with
unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what
fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial,
or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has
the temple of God with idols?" The point being, if you are in that kind of
marriage where there is a believer and an unbeliever, there is not in
existence the kind of harmony that can create the spiritual power and energy
of a godly family. It isn't there! So we assume that the wife was a
believer, to which the man was totally devoted in faithfulness, and the
children also followed along in the faith.
A truly godly life is the most powerful tool God has in saving sinners. The
power of a godly life that speaks the truth. How can we lead people to
conversion? How can we lead people to holiness unless we can show them the
power of it in a life. And what are we to do in the church? We are to teach
you how to raise a godly generation. How can we teach you how to raise a
godly generation if we can't do it? So a pastor or elder must be this kind
of a man: "above reproach (back to Titus 1), a one-woman man, and having
children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion." Let's look
at that text now more specifically.
"Having children who believe," that is literally what the Greek says (teknon
echon pista), "Having children who believe." "Having" is present tense,
"children" has no regard for age at all; in fact, it is the same word used
back in verse 4 to speak of Titus, "My true child" who was a grown man. It
simply means "sons and daughters, offspring" and generally speaking the tone
of this text assumes them to be adult. You say, "Why do you say that?" I'll
show you in a moment, but primarily it is associated with "not accused of
dissipation or rebellion." That hardly refers to little children, there
aren't too many dissipated, debauched little kids. That is a term which
would more accurately be reflective of an adult life. Further, elders by
definition, were older men who tended to have older children. Some of them
did have young children and that is (I think) referred to in 1 Timothy as I
will mention in a moment. But the word "children" here has no regard for
age: "whatever age they are." If he wanted to use little children, he could
have used "teknon" (Greek). If he wanted to talk about babies he could have
used "brephos" (Greek), that means infants, but he just uses a general word
for "sons and daughters."
We know that elders could have had young children; they could have had older
children. Probably the norm was older children, since "by definition" they
were older men, but many of them did surely have young children as well.
It's not an issue of his age; it's an issue that his children believe and
they are not dissipating, and they are not in rebellion in whatever age they
are in life.
Now, let's take that word "children who believe." Now if you have an
"Authorized" or "King James" it may say "faithful." This has been much
debated over and over through the years. It's a very debated issue and in
order to try to help bring some clarity to that debate I am going to beg the
issue a little bit this morning, so indulge me.
Some people say, "It means faithful children," and all "faithful children"
means is they are just obedient to their parents. O.K.? They don't have to
be Christians. This is a big point people make: they don't have to be
Christians--they just have to be obedient to their parents. Well, that would
assume then that they were little children. Wouldn't it? Because, do adult
children have to be obedient to their parents? No. And I don't think this
text could be related to little children since it says that they are not to
be accused of "dissipation or rebellion." Those terms are very graphic
descriptions of wild, unruly, sordid, lascivious living, which would be much
more characteristic of older children than little kids. I think here, then,
it is safe to say that he is talking here about faithful adult children for
the most part, who are not going to scandalize the ministry by their unruly,
wild living.
Now, others are willing to say it does mean, as it is translated properly
here in the New American Standard (NAS), it means "children who believe," but
that is the battleground. Some say, "No, it just means faithful, obedient
children. They don't have to be converted." Others say, "they do have to be
converted." You say, "Now, wait a minute. What if your children don't fit
into this category because they are not old enough to believe? They are not
at that age yet, they are still little children. Elders could have small
children. Right?" I think 1 Timothy 3 covers that, Paul giving requirements
there for one who is an elder. In verse 4, 1 Timothy 3, says, "He must be
one who manages his own household well, keeps his children under control with
all dignity." That clearly must refer to younger children because you don't
keep your adult children under control. You are not in the same role with
them that, maybe, you once were. So I think, really you have the emphasis of
1 Timothy 3 on the controlling of the household, the controlling of the
children with all dignity (and I will say more about that in a moment); and
in Titus you tend to see the older child who now believes and whose life
follows that belief, not being accused of anything that would scandalize the
ministry.
Having said all of that, the word itself "pista" (Greek), a very important
word you need to understand, simply means "believe." The opposite of it
"apistos" (Greek) means "to not believe, disbelief, unbelief." So it is best
to see this as "believing" just in the simplicity of the word. You say,
"Well, can't it be translated 'faithful' in the sense of loyal or
trustworthy?" Yes, and let me explain that to you. It has what commentators
will call an "active" and a "passive" sense. The "active" idea is one who
believes; the "passive" idea is one who is to be believed, or to put it
another way, one who trusts or one who is to be trusted.
Some people will say, it just means somebody who can be trusted, somebody who
can be believed. Somebody who is loyal to his father, who is an obedient
child. The problem with that is never is this term "faithful" used to apply
to any one other than a believer. It can emphasize the loyal side of it; it
can emphasize the trustworthy side of it; it can emphasize the passive side
"to be believed," but never without the active side--it is two sides of the
same coin. In other words, if it said, "Having children who are faithful,"
we would immediately ask the question, "Faithful to what?" Well, the answer
would have to be, "Faithful to what their father taught them," and the most
precious and priority thing he ever would have taught them would have been
what? The Gospel--the Truth!
Although the word "faithful" is used several times in the New Testament of
inanimate objects like "faithful sayings" five times in the epistles (like
the "faithful word"), it is used most always of individuals--people. It is
used of the faithful Creator God who is faithful to what He knows to be true
and the faithful High Priest Jesus Christ who is faithful to what He knows to
be true. You have to be faithful to something. But most of the time it is
used of individuals and it describes someone who is trustworthy and loyal to
what they believe--to what is true.
To see it in contrast, compare it with the negative (Greek) "apistos" (you
put the little "a" at the front--it negates the word). John 20:27 says this,
"Be not 'apistos' but pistos" In other words, "Be not unbelieving, but
believing." There's the opposite. The opposite of belief is unbelief, and
it could be the opposite of faithfulness is unfaithfulness which would mean
rejection of the truth. 2 Corinthians 6:15 says, what part has "pisto"
(Greek) with "apisto" (Greek) or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?
So the word in it's negative form always means unbelief. I would conclude
the word in its positive form can mean trustworthy or faithful, but never
disconnected from believing. He is faithful to what he believes--that's the
idea.
For example, let me illustrate that; Ephesians 1:1, "Paul and Apostle of
Christ Jesus by the will of God, to the saints who are at Ephesus and who are
faithful in Christ Jesus." The only way to be faithful is to be in Christ
Jesus. They are faithful saints who are in Christ Jesus. The active and
passive unite there. Colossians 1:2, you have the same thing; he's
addressing the people, "To the saints, the Holy Ones and faithful brethren in
Christ." You always see faithful associated with believers--faithful
believers.
Look at 1 Timothy. Let's just look in the pastorals and see how "faithful"
is used. 1 Timothy 1:12, "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has
strengthened me because He considered me faithful, putting me into service."
What does he mean "faithful?" He means loyal to what he believed; loyal to
the truth. You can't divorce faithfulness from belief.
Chapter 3 of 1 Timothy, verse 11, "Women who are to serve in the church are
to be dignified, not malicious gossips, temperate, (there it is) faithful in
all things." What does that mean? Simply obedient? No, believers who are
living obediently--faithful to what they know to be true. Look at chapter 4,
verse 3, "Beware of these people who teach that you are to avoid marriage,
and they advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be
gratefully shared in by those who are faithful, who believe and know the
truth." The words are so interchangeable that the translators go back and
forth, but the "faithful" always believe, and the believing are always to be
faithful.
Down in verse 10, "It is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed
our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of
believers," or the faithful. Verse 12, he says, you are to be an example in
all these areas of those who are faithful, those who believe. Down in
chapter 5, verse 16, the word appears again, "If any woman who is a believer,
or any woman who is faithful has dependent widows, etc." Down in chapter 6,
verse 2, again, "Let those who have believers as their masters not be
disrespectful to them, because they are brethren, but let them serve them all
the more because those who partake of the benefit are faithful and beloved,"
believers and beloved.
So you see, once in a while it's believers, once in a while it's faithful.
They go back and forth, but always the "faithful" are "believers" and the
"believers" are "faithful"--they are interchangeable. To take the word
"faithful", pull it out of the believing context, isolate it as if it only
meant submissive to the father's leadership, without believing what the
father taught, would be to distort the word. If you look at the Scripture,
every Scripture in the New Testament that I looked at (I got them all) where
the word is used, it always refers to believers, unless it is referring to an
inanimate object, or God, or Christ.
For example,
1. The "faithful servant" of Matthew 24 and Luke 12 is a believer.
2. The "good and faithful servant" of Matthew 25 and Luke 19 is a believer.
3. The "faithful person" of Luke 16 is a believer.
4. The "faithful mother of Timothy" Acts 16:1 is a believer.
5. The "faithful stewards" of 1 Corinthians 4 are believers.
6. The "faithful Timothy" of 1 Corinthians 4:17 is a believer.
7. The "faithful ministers" of Colossians 1:7 and 4:7 are believers.
8. The "faithful Onesimus" of Colossians 4:9 is a believer.
9. The "faithful Moses" of Hebrews 3:5 was a believer.
10. The "faithful Silvanus" was a believer (1 Peter 5:12).
11. The "faithful martyrs" including Antipas of Revelation 2 were believers.
Always they are called "faithful" because they are believers; it is never
used in the New Testament of somebody who is not a believer. So the word
then describes both active and passive sides.
So what is Paul saying? He is saying, "Not only is this man to have children
who believe, but children who are also. . . ." What? "Faithful to what they
believe." That's what is implied in the rest of the statement "Not accused
of dissipation or rebellion." They believe it and they live it.
So many people want to leave this matter of salvation out and say that he
doesn't have to have saved children as long as they just submit. Well, what
are you going to do right here when you get to this point? How can they be
called faithful if they don't believe what they must be faithful to? And if
they are adult children here they certainly wouldn't be obeying their father;
faithful would mean nothing.
In 1 Timothy it says, "Keeping his children under control with all dignity."
I believe that looks at them when they are young, and when he has young
children they are obedient; they are under control. "With all dignity," what
does that mean? It means the father maintains his class, and his humility,
and his respect, and his admiration, and his stateliness, and his gentleness.
In other words, it is not an overbearing control, a domineering control, an
abusive control, but he controls them with respect and admiration, so that
they look to him and they admire him and they want to be like him, and they
aspire to be what he is, and they love him, and they obey out of delight and
joy and respect. In verse 5 of 1 Timothy 3 said, "If he can't control his
family in that way how's he going to manage the Church?"
So I believe that when they are little they follow their father's example.
You say, "Are you saying if your children aren't old enough to be saved that
you can't be an elder?" No, when they are young they are under control and
they believe whatever their little hearts can believe, and they affirm
whatever they can understand, and they live by those principles being taught
to them by the parents, and someday that blooms into saving faith.
The church ought to be able to look at that man's life and see that process
taking place; see those little children affirming, believing as much as their
simple hearts can believe. We could say "believing with a simple faith;
progressing towards a saving faith." But when it comes to the point that
they are old enough to believe they are to be faithful to the truth they have
been taught. As I have said, the home is God's basic unit of society for
passing righteousness from one generation to the next, and it, therefore,
becomes the proving ground for spiritual leaders, and we are to have children
who are faithful to what is most precious to us.
Now, "not just believers;" let me just tap this point one more time by
looking at those words "dissipation" and "rebellion." But "faithful
believers," I think they are both there. "Not accused of dissipation or
rebellion;" "dissipation" is "asotia" (Greek): it means just what it says.
It is used in Ephesians 5:18 associated with drunkenness and wild revelry and
pagan festivals. It means "wild, wasteful," literally, "without saving;
saving nothing," just throwing yourself away--indulgent. The second term is
"rebellion:" "out of control; wild; unruly."
His children are to be believers who are faithful, who live obediently: under
control when they are small, following their father's faith until it emerges
into their own faith and at that point they don't live a wild and rebellious,
out-of-control, unruly, wasteful life; but they live a faithful Christian
life.
A pastor who has children who are wild, self-indulgent, disobedient, and
rebellious, even if they claim to be Christians, is not suited to be an elder
or a pastor. What a standard this is!
The man who is selected to be an elder or a pastor has exhibited the
leadership and life integrity to lead people to salvation and sanctification
and service to God, because he has done it or is doing it in the proving
ground of his own family. He is known as one who has obedient, controlled
children who believe as they are able the truth of the Christian gospel, and
live according to its principle; and their simple faith when they are young
is emerging into a saving faith at some point. Those children become the
proof of his spiritual leadership.
Even the little ones believe. I look back at our little ones as they were
growing up and continued to affirm their faith in Christ, affirm their love
for Christ; even though it wasn't a saving faith it was a simple affirmation
of the things precious to father and mother, and it became a saving faith.
This is the proving ground; this is where the man is tested. He is not a
better man; he's not a more virtuous man; he's not a more godly man, but he
is a man who uniquely suits the ministry.
Other men may be godly men, faithful men, loyal men, and perhaps have
children that are wayward. That does not hinder his relationship to the Lord
Himself, because he is not ultimately responsible for what his children
choose to do; but it does not either qualify him for this unique role of
leadership. You might put it this way: we who do this need a special
abundant portion of God's grace, don't we, because of the uniqueness of our
task. And whatever has happened in any of our lives who lead the church,
whatever has happened in our lives to qualify us in any measure is purely,
and simply, and only, because of the grace of God--the grace of God!
Thus does the Apostle arm Titus with both a moral qualification for
leadership, and a leadership qualification. They are absolutely foundational
to the ministry and where they don't exist the church will remain at a low
level because the pattern isn't there to lift the church. We need to pray
for our leaders; pray for all of us; all those who lead the church anyplace,
anytime that they might be these kind of men who know this kind of grace,
that the Lord's church may be what would please Him most.
Father, we thank You again this morning that this Word is clear; it is
penetrating; it is provocative; it is not easy to receive; it is hard to hear
because it is so demanding, and it somehow makes us feel like some men are
better than others; elevated above others. Lord, let it not be so. May we
remember that he who is suited to leadership is the one who is most humble,
and even Jesus came not to be ministered unto, but to minister and to give
His life. But may we also understand that out of the humility of such a life
there are unique qualifications that must be met, and when met can set a man
in a place of leadership, where he can live and teach as a pattern that
others can follow. Not a perfect one, for none is that, but at least a
reflection. At least some kind of representation of that kind of godliness
that you want passed from generation to generation through all the families
in Your church.
Thank You Lord in this church for leaders who have been blessed and graced
with such families as can be followed. Keep them that way; keep them
faithful; keep the children faithful that they might never be a rebuke to the
one who serves in Your name. Amen.
Transcribed by Tony Capoccia of
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